I realised in January that I’m always going to want this lifestyle. Ive struggled with this lifestyle for 6 months but every time Pink and I stop then I feel like I’m missing something. I know now that when I get feelings that I don’t want to continue that its temporary. My wife now knows that she is in control because I truly want to submit to her.

This has made it easier for her and I. She knows if I rebel that she will get hers when (not if) I submit again. And she reminds me that I will always want her to be my Dom.
We talked about my punishment for rebelling and we both agreed that it shouldn’t be something I enjoy because that would make me want to rebel to get punished. My punishment is with something very severe that we used one time and I could only take 4 swats with before yelling my safe word. After that it was dismantled till now and is reassembled as a reminder what I get for severe punishments. If she ever has to use it I will post what it is here and how well I handled it.

Now we are the happiest we have ever been together because I’m not bad trying to get spanked. Which is what Ive been doing for 6 months, get her upset so she would spank me. Also if I have anything to say I make sure I’m not topping from the bottom and if she feels that I am then I withdraw my statement.